Monday, July 14, 2014

Dauphin Geoff

I was very moved by the story of the Virginian father who traveled to Africa, and laid claim to a small, uninhabited, remote part of the borderland between Egypt and Sudan, so that his seven year-old daughter could fulfill her wish of being a Princess.

And it gave me an idea. So ...

As a worker-owner with the Weaver Street Market Co-operative, I hereby formally exercise my right to lay claim to that part of the co-op I wish to own. I therefore now own the Steamer Oven in the Kitchen of the Southern Village Store. And henceforth am to be addressed as Dauphin Geoff of Oven and Steamer. I am the proud ruler of all that I pan-fry and char-grill.

Crest of arms and flag to follow. Offers of dowry to my plenipotentiary and Lady High Chamberlain, Poo-Bah and Mistress of all Muckety-Muck, the Lady Aleesa of SanFilippo.

Derogatory comments and treason of any kind will be met with summary flogging with the Royal Wet Lettuce Leaf. To be applied by Sir Ken of the Third Shift.

[For my UK Friends, I am sad to announce that, in order to lay my claim, I had to turn down the kind offer by the British Prime Minister to be his new Foreign Secretary, in his much-heralded reshuffle. You're probably still lumbered with the Boy Hague.]